Fear: Control it or it controls you.

FEAR.
We’ve all got it at some point or another regardless of whether we admit it.
To some, admitting they are afraid or have some fear is a sign of weakness. Others may not even realize they are constantly in fear.
Fear can control you unless you learn to control it. Fear can also be used to your advantage, or someone else’s.
Today, I’m specifically talking about fear related to athletic competition, and I’ll keep it limited to lifting.
However, my words of advice here will apply to all other types of fear whether they be related to work, relationships, life and if they are real or imagined.
On that note, imagined fears are just as real to the person that has them, be aware. A great example of that is the child afraid of the monster under their bed or in the closet.
We know it’s not real, but they don’t. It’s real to them.
Imagined fears can paralyze you if allowed.
So let’s get back to FEAR in the gym or on the platform, fear of big weights.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen lifters miss weight at meets or in the gym and I called it.
It usually goes like this:

• Me: He’s not going to make this lift.
• Other person: Why?
• Me: I can tell.
• Other person: How?
• Me: I just can.

And then boom. Stapled. They missed.
I understand that the reason I can tell is because the person is giving off non-verbal cues about their lever of confidence in what they are about to do. They are easy to spot if have that “eye”.
Don’t ask me to explain, I can’t.

But I can help you learn to stop letting fear control you.

Things done in the gym under stress are fucking hard. Same goes for the platform.
One of the first things we need to do is teach ourselves to never give up.
Never quit.
Ever.
Ever.
Once you learn this, fear has less control over you because you have programmed yourself to never give up.
Easy to say, hard to do. But it’s true.
And as I said, things done in the gym under stress are fucking hard. If you quit in the gym you are programing yourself to quit elsewhere.
What we do in training under stress we do in the real world.

Don’t quit under the bar and you are less likely to quit someplace where it actually matters.

Another way to take Fear’s control over you away is to improve confidence. Do that by giving yourself small challenges that you can get through.
Things like a rep PR are great ways to build confidence with weights. Instead of taking maxes, hit 90% for 1 more rep than you did a few weeks or month ago. It’s small, but it builds confidence.
And trust your spotters and training partners.
If you go for a PR, what is there to be afraid of?
You’ve got spotters you trust right?
Same goes for a meet.
Trust them.
Your training partners will save your ass. Mine have a million times.
The Fear of missing the weight and getting injured is real for many, but most lifting injuries don’t occur on max singles. Sure, sometimes they do but why worry about it.
I always tell people to NEVER approach a weight they are afraid of. Fear instills self-doubt.

 
What did Swayze say in Point Break?
“Fear causes hesitation and hesitation will get you killed.”
He was right.
When it’s time to go up and smash a huge PR, go up with confidence.
Tell yourself I am going to get this lift.
I can do this.
Always think success.

 
I’ve never seen a lifter approach a PR attempt in a state of fear and self-doubt and make it.
As a matter of fact, if it is one of my lifters, I’ll pull them back and tell them to get their mind right or pass on the lift.
Now, am I saying having FEAR is bad or wrong?
No.

Only a fucking psychopath has no fear. You have to have something wrong with your wiring to not be afraid of anything ever.

Fear is good. But only a healthy amount that doesn’t control you.
So Murph, How Do I Keep Fear from Controlling Me?
Great question, and I’ll be happy to tell you I have no idea. This is something each of us has to figure out for ourselves.
BUT!
I can tell you what works for me.
You can’t beat a guy who won’t quit is something I say a lot. It’s true, you might win the battle but you won’t win the war.
I learned this as a kid. I grew up in a tough town and had the shit kicked out of me more than once.
Many times I was scared to walk home because I was worried that certain kids or groups of them might be on my way.
After taking my share of ass kickings, I was walking home one day and one of “those” kids approached me. I was pretty scared. And it showed. He knew it, I knew it.
He kicked the shit out of me.

BUT!
It made me realize I was not going to show fear again. I’m not letting the fear control my reaction.
I am taking control of it because if I am going to get a beating, at least he’s gonna know he was in a fight.
That simple decision made all the difference in the world. It changed my mindset, for life.
Now back to the weight room:
I’ve stepped up to a max single in the gym and on the platform many times in the past unsure if I could do it and maybe, possibly a little scared of the weight. I never made one of those lifts successfully.
One day, I don’t recall when, the “knowing he was in a fight” reference clicked, as did all of the above stuff I wrote about trusting your spotters and all the rest kicked in.
I made a conscious decision to convince myself that I was going to be successful.
I also allowed my FEAR to turn to ANGER.
To RAGE.
I would work myself into a mental frenzy over the arrogance that the bar had thinking it was going to crush me. I channeled the FEAR into a RAGE that got me so jacked up that I was invincible.
There was no way the weight was winning. My will is stronger than gravity.
And it worked.
Sometimes. And sometimes it didn’t.

 
Matt Rhodes said once, or a thousand times:
“The strength was there, the weight was just too heavy.”
And he was right.
On the days I missed, the MENTAL strength was there, I just made a stupid attempt selection.
(I’ve since learned to make better attempt selections.)

 
Will my method work for you?
Maybe, maybe not.

 
But it does give you something to think about and a tool to try and figure out what will work for you.

• Stop letting fear control you. Figure out what you are afraid if and begin to desensitize yourself from it.
• Teach yourself to never give up.
• Ever.
• Learn to channel your fear in to something beneficial.
• Control it. Use it.
• Don’t let it control you.

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Vincere vel mori

C.J. Murphy

January 21, 2021