BIG HEAD & BIG BELLY
I'm writing this post because one mark of measure we used to use years ago to gauge our potential strength and how we were peaking for a meet was we would measure the size of our head and the size of our bellies. Based upon that, we would know if we were ready for our meet or not. I do know a little bit about what I am talking about because while I didn't have the biggest head in the gym, it was close. I didn't have the biggest belly in the gym, it was close, but I was always able to get it to blow up.
Now as I've gotten older and wiser and more observant, I've really started to look into this a little bit deeper because I failed. I failed miserably because I never had epic belly fat. It was just like a big torso, like pretty much every other power lifter. Just a big torso. When I'm talking belly fat, I'm not talking things like a GH gut. Hell, nobody back then had enough money to even buy GH anyhow, so that's not what I'm talking about.
EPIC BELLY FAT
I'm not talking about GH gut. Visceral fat, yeah, but when I'm talking about epic belly fat, I'm talking about those dudes that you see and you're like, "What the fuck is growing out of his belly?" When I see those, I'm envious because I would have loved to have something like that back when I was squatting heavy or even benching, because it's going to shorten the bar path and you can always use a modified sumo to drop your belly between your legs in your dead lift.
The potential applications for success are enormous if you can have epic belly fat. I could never understand why all the lifters I trained with, none of us were able to really get that big, giant, epic look. I think I know why now. There's four foods that we didn't use that we should have used.
This list is the four foods for epic belly fat...
BEER
Food number one, beer. Everybody who's got epic belly fat drinks tons of beer. I was never a beer drinker, I hate the shit. I hate the way it tastes. I'd rather drink soda. Beer is disgusting. I spent too many years working in bars watching drunk fucks puking in trash cans. There's just nothing about it that appeals to me in any way whatsoever. Most of the guys I trained with didn't drink or if they did, it wasn't very much. It was just to get hammered on a Friday night.
Nobody drank to the extent of what you see the guys today, who have epic belly fat. Could we have been doing this all wrong? Now the negative of that is a lot of the reason why we didn't partake or drink at all or very much for some of the other guys was it inhibits your ability to recover. There's kind of a give and take there because if you're all fucked up and drunk and you go to bed, your body has got to make a decision, am I going to try to clear my body of the toxins and the alcohol or am I going to recover from the training?
Personally, I wanted to recover from the training, but when you balance the scales, maybe a little less recovery for that epic belly fat, I might have been stronger. If you're looking for the epic belly fat, beer.
HOT DOGS
Hot dogs. If there's one thing that I've seen in common with everybody who has epic belly fat is they all fucking eat hot dogs. No matter where they're at. If you go to a fair, you go to a ball game, you go to a football game, you go anywhere where there's hot dogs, you're going to see somebody with epic belly fat eating three or four of them fuckers anytime you look over at him. I'm not sure why. I'm not sure what the nutritional background or the nutritional ingredients or what the reason is that constitutes this correlating with epic body fat, except for it looks like the same shit that's growing on the back of their head. Other than that, I don't know why, but there is a correlation.
PASTA
The next item is pasta. Now the only reason I have pasta on here is I had to ask somebody else whom has been over 400 pounds, but still didn't have the epic belly fat. I had to go outside my box a little bit because I was running out of shit for my list. I was told pasta, so I'm putting pasta on here just because I have nothing else to put on here and that's what I was told. Hell, that's enough scientific evidence for me, 400 pound dude tells me, "Pasta will give you epic belly fat." I'll go with that.
PIZZA
Man, I hate to put this item on the list because it's being associated because of "guilt by association", but everybody who's spouting epic belly fat eats pizza all the time, but I hate to put this on here because everybody eats pizza all the time. I can't say that this is a direct correlation. I'm going to say it's a spurious correlation, but I needed another thing for my list because it simply just can't be beer and hot dogs. There's got to be other items on here, so pizza it is.
These are the four foods that I've come up with to give you epic belly fat, which is going to increase your strength.
It's going to increase your girth.
It's going to increase your size.
It's going to increase your cholesterol.
It's going to increase your insulin levels.
It's going to increase just about everything bad that you could possibly do to your body, but it may increase your squat, your bench and your dead lift.
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BONUS
Now finally, as a bonus tip, for epic belly fat you want to ride the recumbent bike. You want to set the pedals so you're really not bending your knees a whole lot, you're just kind of flicking your foot. When I was a trainer for many years, everybody who had epic belly fat always rode the recumbent bikes. I think the benefit here is because you're in a seated position, it doesn't move your belly around a whole lot so it allows it to grow in a more steady state. It's the perfect environment for your belly to grow.
The other thing, and this could be why. I've been searching for this answer for a long time. This could be why all the epic belly fat coaches have such big calves because they ride the recumbent bike. What they're actually doing instead of pedaling is toe pushes. If you want big calves and you want a big belly, follow my advice.
DISCLAIMER: For those that don't get this - it's a joke! Lighten up!
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