It is the evidence that the most important and comforting and rewarding part of the pursuit is in the growth and development and expansion of the self DURING the pursuit. Thoreau said " the reward of a thing is in the well doing of it". Maybe that was Emerson. But it is true nonetheless.
It makes the point that getting "there" is not the point.
GOING there is the point.
We will spend countless days and hours and even years TRAVELING TO our goals. And in one moment we ARRIVE. That is one sweet moment, to be sure, but it is unbelievably brief. Bask in it all you like, but it will pale and fade. No matter how lofty and significant, the sun rises tomorrow and to quote one of my favorite thinkers, "what then?" Another journey is what. So when we realize that the "big deal" about goals isn't the acquisition of them but the pursuit of them, we see clearly the importance of being aware of and invested in the journey.
Bringing this around to giving credit where credit is due, I admonish my athletes to involve themselves in the step by step achievements that too often go unnoticed and unrewarded. The simple and easy practice of telling oneself that what just occurred was, in fact, A GOOD JOB, is incredibly powerful. For one thing, it sets the subconscious in motion to assist you in furthering the improvement.
The subconscious is like a little kid that is dying to please a parent. Why not get it fully engaged and on your side? Oh woe to those who have a subconscious that is working against you! Give that little kid a small pat on the back and watch them go into overdrive to get another one! Just a tiny " good job" from a parent can transform the efforts of many children. It is well documented in the psychological research.
It is so easy and time inexpensive there is no reason to overlook it. Let me put to rest once and forever the illogical but widespread misconception of withholding praise in the false belief that if praise is freely given, then it will lose its value. Bullshit! Not only is this false,it is cruel.
I suppose the argument goes something like this in the weak minded... If i give praise too often, it won't mean as much. It will lose value by virtue of being That if praise is too common it is worth less. So if I withhold praise then when I choose to give it, it will be very, very valuable and inspiring. MY praise is very hard to get, and I only give it out on special occasions, ergo, MY praise is a great commodity. Rarity = value. Or so the thinking might go.
This can only be true if the more frequent praise is hollow. False praise. Empty praise. PRAISE THAT WAS NOT TRULY EARNED.
That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about. I distinctly said "credit where credit WAS DUE." Sure, if you dilute your praise by giving it for anything and everything there is a point to the above argument. So let me be clear and lets make a distinction. The operative word here is "due." And in my opinion credit is "due" each and every time progress is made. Period. More praise for more progress. An appropriate amount. Don't buy a new car for yourself for setting a new p.r. on an accessory lift. But don't withhold telling yourself "yeah, that's what I came in here for"! You don't have to buy yourself an ice cream cone but you shouldn't forget to just say "good one" when you take a step forward.
Resist the temptation to be overly hard on yourself by setting a p.r. and throwing some self talk down your psyche like," that was ok, but I'm a long way away from where I want to be." There is a foolish and wrong-headed belief out there that if a person rewards themselves along the way to a goal, then they will somehow lose all their motivation and for some unexplained reason become complacent. Therefore no "good jobs" until the goal is reached. I hear this all the time but no one can explain how the pat on the back given to oneself is able to wipe out a person's drive and determination in one fell swoop! Balderdash! If this CAN happen to a person and must be so diligently vigilantly guarded against, I must suspect that the goal itself is not too dearly held in the first place. This also goes for compliments.
When people can not receive a compliment with a brief and unadorned "thank you", they have a problem. Accepting a compliment should have absolutely NO BEARING on ones motivation or commitment. But you would think to you would think to hear some people shun the compliments that if they accepted them it would negate their ability to continue to improve. That somehow they would be accepting where they are and that would be that. They would get stuck. Wow! What a crock! That is so unbelievably illogical that it is stupefying.
If you think clearly about it, it just doesn't add up. You don't lose motivation nor become complacent by acknowledging that you are making progress. The path isn't all or nothing. It could not be more different. It IS a step after step. When you focus on process and progression, you chew up goal after goal after goal. You never stop! They come, they go. But YOU REMAIN AND YOU KEEP GOING. In summary, there is a remarkably powerful way to get your subconscious to go to work FOR you TWENTY FOUR HOURS A DAY...it is the habit of rewarding yourself for each and every improvement both big and small by telling yourself "good job".
If you don't think this is a very big deal, you don't know anything about the subconscious. EVERY SINGLE PERSON who has studied this, wrote about this, or practiced this says it IS A VERY big deal. You can leave all that power sleeping just inches away or you can wake it up and prosper from it. You have it at your fingertips. We all have it. The technique of saying "good job" to yourself when it is appropriate is only one small scratch on the surface of what you can begin to explore. But it is easy and instantly accessible. Give some thought to how much you have been on your own side during your journey. This is one way to come around. "NEVER TURN AGAINST YOURSELF IN TIMES OF TROUBLE". I would add to that ,"or at anytime whatsoever".
