Law #38 from the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
Think as you like, but behave like others.
If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.
Drugs, Thugs, and CEOs
In the gym, you could be training alongside ex-cons, drug dealers, drywall hangers, bankers, business owners, CEOs, the unemployed, lawyers, politicians, lobbyists, prison guards, bouncers, collectors, thugs, porn stars, preachers, ministers, personal trainers, strength coaches, welders, factory workers, and pharmacists. They can be anyone and everyone. In the gym, the pursuit is the same.
I’ve trained with every one of these. Sometimes I’ve trained with them all simultaneously as part of the same powerlifting team. We all had different views and beliefs, but we were the same in the gym, training for the same goal—to become better.
Without being conscious of it, we’d all conformed. We all wanted to be the best, regardless of the differences between us.
I’ve trained with people I’ve despised. I didn’t respect what they did for a living, or I disagreed with their beliefs. In the gym, however, I was the first to spot them or to give them advice that would make them better.
Inside the walls of the gym, it wasn’t about our differences, but our similarities. We all wanted to get better. All of our differences were left outside because they would only distract us from our shared purpose and goal.
Social Order
People who brought their “crap” into the gym became outcasts. They eventually faded away like all those who came before them. When they tried to stand on their soapboxes and convince us they were better than the rest of us, they were chopped down quickly:
“So, what do you squat again?”
The lifts were all that mattered in the gym. Political agendas didn’t mean shit. The lifts established the social order, and it was your responsibility to make the guy next to you better than you were. This philosophy raised the team as a whole. You were only as good as your weakest link.
I was a member of the Westside Barbell Club in Columbus, Ohio for close to fourteen years, and I knew everyone who trained with me. I knew where I stood in the social order. I knew what stayed in the gym, and I knew what had to stay out. I knew my role and what I was there to do. I was there to lift the biggest weights I could, but I was also there to help coach and teach others to be better than I was. I was there to teach them to be much better. Conversely, their job was to make me better. We all conformed to this very simple social order, and Westside became one of the strongest gyms in the world. Getting everyone stronger was all that mattered. When the purpose and vision is strong enough all the other BS doesn't matter.
Drama, Critics, Naysayers --> When you're locked into something you don't even notice them and when you do you don't care because you care more about the Vision than you do them.
Business
I’ve been asked this many times before, so I know you’re wondering: how can conformity lead to success? Everyone tells us we have to be different. They tell us we have to set ourselves apart from everyone else, that we shouldn’t be the same, and that we have to aspire to be more than the group. Don’t get me wrong, here—I agree with these things. You need to be different to set yourself apart.
The key is to not be a hypocrite, a loudmouth, or someone who’s trying to get attention for the sake of getting attention.
When you’re in a group setting, you don’t have to share all your values. You just need to share the ones you have in common with the group. When you do this, people will like you. They’ll want to spend more time with you and help you advance to the next level. They’ll be the first to spot you in the gym, the first to buy your product or service, and the first to sign up as a new client. Your beliefs won’t be changed in any way. They’re simply shared with people who feel the same way. In other words, don’t offer anything that could hurt you in the long run.
Some people would consider this to be selling out, but I don’t think it is. It isn’t selling out when the same things happen in gyms and on powerlifting teams every day. You sell out when you don’t show up to do the work, or when you don’t help others advance. Selling out is turning your back on the group and jumping on your soapbox. Selling out is not being smart in the way you approach your interpersonal relationships. You need to do this in accordance with your goals and theirs. When people look deep enough they will see they agree on more than they disagree on. Focus on what you agree on unless what you disagree on becomes a disturbance in your life - in this case cut ties and part ways.
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