A very ectomorphic, scrawny ass young guy joins my gym yesterday. He tells me he wants to get huge in the worst way and of course says, "I eat everything but I can't gain any weight". Which I hear every time a thin person comes in. He even offers me money for "some tips" which I declined because I don't charge to talk to me when I'm already at the gym anyway. I told him I have been around lifters and gyms for a long time and I am going to give you a fool proof approach that is GUARANTEED to work WITHOUT FAIL.

A. You're not eating enough, do you know how I know you are not eating enough? Because you are still skinny as fuck, if you were in fact eating enough to gain weight you would be gaining weight. It's very simple, yes you might have to eat when you aren't hungry, yes it will cost more to force feed yourself six times a day but if you are serious about gaining weight and you can't do step one you might as well just forget about ever getting big. And stop hearkening back to that one time when you were high you ate a whole meat lovers pizza thinking that you are eating a lot.

B. When it comes to training you need to base your workouts around big exercises, squats, deads, benches, presses, rows, cleans, barbell curls etc. As mush as possible I want you on your feet and I want you using a barbell. Sitting on your ass doing some machine is going to be of very little use to you if you want to get huge. Also prepare to be in this for the long haul, it takes many years of consistent, hard training to build an impressive set of muscles.

C. forget about abs, I know all you youngins' like to have abs and it's some badge of honor to have them among your generation but let them go. If you are that attached to them just stay skinny and insignificant forever and keep them. There will be a time and a place for having abs AFTER you actually built some muscle. if you are that fucking panicked about not having abs just keep your shirt on, Nobody will know and nobody gives a shit anyway.

So the next morning the kid comes in the gym and my morning guys said he went right for the seated crunch machine that we have, did three sets and then left.

I guess brutal honesty is lost on the younger generation.