OK, I’ll be the first to admit it – I’m coming to grips with the idea that I’m way past my prime. I spend more time warming up to squat than actually squatting. I’ve come to appreciate high-rep workouts because the lighter weight decreases the chance of injury, and believe it or not – I enjoy getting a pump. Mind you, I was one of those “anything over five reps is cardio” guys for the longest time.
I’m the crusty old guy in the gym with a grey beard and my circa-2000 “EFS Blast Dust” shirt that I won’t let my wife throw away, banging out sets of 15 on the dumbbell bench press (because my shoulder hurts too much to bench with a straight bar) while cranking Megadeath so loud in my headphones that you can hear “Symphony of Destruction” while running on the treadmill.
While struggling with my identity as a washed-up powerlifter, I can still hit a PR on Christmas morning. I’ve started a tradition of buying my daughters, nieces, and nephews elitefts apparel. I’m almost to the point where I have to call Dave and ask him to get some new designs on the site in August because my family almost owns the whole line…
Here are some of their favorites:
1. MAX EFFORT Tri-Blend Tee
We all know that the term “Max Effort” came from the conjugate system, as taught by Louie Simmons of Westside Barbell. The conjugate method requires that you max out each week on something, be it good mornings, or lat work or your traditional powerlifts. I’d love to tell you that I bought this shirt for my nephew because I barely survived quite a few max effort days and lived to tell about it. The truth is, his name is Max, so of course he loved the shirt. In fact, the following Christmas, I bought one for his girlfriend because she kept stealing his.
2. Girl Relaxed Pink STRONG(HER) Tee
There is nothing like telling a guy who just benched 365x1 and is high-fiving his bros about how I lifted off 405 so that a woman could do a triple.
By the way, this happened more than once. I was her favorite lift-off guy because I was tall enough to get the bar out to where she wanted it and strong enough to hold it there until she was ready to take it…
After I gave my nephews their EFS swag that first Christmas, my daughters were not happy. They wanted to know where theirs were. Since I raised them to be strong women, the STRONG(HER) shirts made perfect sense.
3. LIVE, LEARN, PASS ON Long Sleeve Tee
My wife loooooves elitefts long sleeve tees. Funny thing is, she likes how the men’s shirts are cut, so that is what I buy for her. She works as a teacher’s aide in the Autistic support department of our local elementary school. Live, learn, and pass on is what she does every day. She wears this shirt with pride.
4. BENDING Tri-Blend Tee
“If the bar ain’t bending, you’re just pretending.” I bought a few of these for this year’s round of gifts. I can remember when this was my mantra. Nowadays, the only way I’ll probably bend a bar is if I drop it.
5. GO HARD Tee
I’m constantly trying to get one of my nephews to do a powerlifting meet – even a bench meet or a push/pull meet. So far, no luck. They do train with me from time to time. That’s when they see that when I’m in the gym, it’s 100 percent, no matter what I’m doing. Be it high rep sets or even, ugh… cardio – I’m all in.
They get it. Go hard or go home. That will serve you well all your life, no matter what set of circumstances you find yourself in. This shirt is a great reminder.
6. American Press Bar (special bonus hint – it’s just for me)
I hate dumbbell presses, but my jacked-up shoulders really get cranky if I bench with a straight bar. If anybody in my family is reading this, the American Press Bar allows me to bench press with my hands in a position that will not aggravate my shoulders. I’d love to see that under the tree!
I hope this motivates you to start your own family tradition of giving ultra-cool elitefts apparel for Christmas. After all, there’s a reason why I’m everybody’s favorite uncle.
