40 Years and 40 Lessons

I turned 40 years old this past week. Now that I'm in my 40s, I don't feel any different than I did in my 30s or even 20s. It's true that I don't recover as quickly as I used to, and I've noticed a few random injuries that appear more often, but none of this has really affected me. The biggest difference over the last few years is my inability to sleep all night without peeing at least twice (luckily, I make it to the bathroom most of the time). OK, I don't really pee the bed, but sleep is different as you age.

RECENT: Communicating Your Vision

Because my fortieth birthday occurred on a day when I road 79 miles on a bicycle, I thought it would be good to review some things I've learned and that have occurred to me during the last week sitting on a bicycle seat pedaling. By the way, ride a bike for five straight days and you'll get some thinking done, too. So here's my list.

1. Respect everyone. It's completely healthy to disagree with another person, but at least show respect for what he or she is thinking. Our field needs more of this.

2. Look the part. My father was a painter when I was young, and I remember always washing up after work with him. I asked him why we washed before we went home (it never made sense because we were only going home). He said, "There isn't anything wrong with being a painter, but you don't have to look like one." The point is look professional. It's important to note that after 11 years, my dad received his degree and is now a facilities director, speaker and professor.

3. Find the white paint. Here's another father story. My father would say to me, "Go downstairs where we store the paint (I still loathe painting) and get me the white paint." I would often come back without any paint. He would then proceed to walk to the basement and show me how lazy I was being for not looking harder. Find the paint.

4. Most coaches coach for the wrong reason. Do you love your sport? Who cares. Coach because you love to teach.

5. Teaching is coaching and coaching is teaching. We teach movements and life skills.

6. Be wrong because it's liberating. There is more that I don't know about my job than I do. So don't be afraid to admit when you're wrong or don't know something.

7. When you're wrong, learn the lesson available.

8. Go to bed earlier. The fact is people who "aren't morning people" are lazy people. Winners get things done in the morning.

9. Learn from the best. My mentors start with my father and don't end until my son. Learn from the best, and everyone is the best at something.

10. Don't waste time on unwinnable battles. Who cares if someone else wins? Just move on and make your athletes better.

11. Be prepared to be fired. Ron McKeefery has touched on this and I learn from him. You will lose your job. You still have to pay bills. Be ready!

12. When you're fired, don't take it personally. This isn't easy, but don't second guess what you've done if you've done your best.

13. If an athlete scores a zero on an functional movement screen test, he or she can still train. Don't be soft. Find the white paint!

14. Don't #grind. If going to work or training are #grinding to you, then quit. Shut up and be happy that you get the opportunity to train.

15. Don't overpromise to yourself or others. I had an assistant who said, "I'm going to read an hour a day." I said, "How much do you read now?" He responded with, "None." I said, "That means you're awake 16 hours a day. Nine of those hours, you're at work so that is seven hours of free time. This isn't including showers, eating, driving, etc., so you have more like five hours. Now you want to commit one of those hours to reading. That is one out of your five. Start with 15 minutes."

16. Almost all physical therapists think they are strength coaches. Sorry to my physical therapist friends, but unless you've taught lifting, running and related things for years, you aren't a strength coach. This being said, I don't blame someone for using his or her physical therapist business to open a "speed shop" next door. Just admit that you aren't an expert in that field, too.

17. If you call yourself a speed expert, you probably aren't.

18. I have very few answers, but I at least tend to know the question. Think about an election. It's easy to say, "I will do A to improve our world." Then you get the job and you can't succeed. The reason is that people love to know the answer before they know the question.

19. Nothing says American weight room like Hatebreed and the bench press.

20. Improve another's life in some way every day. It will always come back to you.

21. Be honest with yourself and others. How often do people tell you that everything is OK and it isn't? That doesn't feel good, so don't do it to yourself or anyone else.

22. If you sell yourself as the coach who coached "big time athletes," please stop.

23. Money controls the world. Don't let it control you. I had a job offer a few years back that came with an 80 percent raise. I asked Dave Tate and Bob Youngs for advice and they both said, "Why does salary matter?" Great point. Obviously, make enough to be happy, but don't be a slave to the dollar. My car only cost 5K. A new car won't change my life.

24. Enjoy the ride. Ethan Reeves is a mentor of mine. He once said that he loves toothaches because they let him know that he's still alive. I went to the dentist last week, so I'll say that, "I love the dentist because he lets me know that I'm still alive without the toothaches."

25. Read daily. Maybe not for an hour but read!

26. Stress your athletes. In the age of technology, everyone wants to know what the appropriate stress level is. Too little is better than too much, right? Don't lie. We will never get this perfect, so make them adapt. Force adaptation and don't get soft.

27. Use technology and still be a great coach!

28. CrossFit is not evil. Even though their form isn't perfect, CrossFit has put barbells in more women's hands than you have. I promise you that not every person in your facility is perfect either.

29. Learn from the strong. They got there somehow.

30. Lift. If you're a coach and you don't live the lifestyle, please leave. We often hear about strength coaches who need to train. I agree, but then too often, we drink 12 beers, chew tobacco and eat like crap. Stop it. Hey, I love a good beer, but keep it to two or three.

31. Support companies you believe in. I believe in elitefts™ and what Dave has stood for since 1998. That's why I'm writing this article. Now do this in all areas of your life. Support better companies. Find a mom and pops when possible and skip the Starbucks.

32. Stop complaining. Every time you're about to complain, stop and ask yourself a few things. Will your complaining change anything? Are you going to change? And will you care about this in five years?

33. Be nice to cops. If you get pulled over, be nice to the cop. I say this because I was pulled over last week. I was guilty, so why yell at the guy. By the end, I had a ticket and the cop and my son were in the back seat laughing at me telling me to slow down. He was a nice guy. (I was hoping he would reduce the ticket, but he didn't.)

34. Stop hitting snooze! I've said this in other articles, but it's so important that I'm repeating it. Stop hitting snooze! The world wants you in it. You set your alarm, so wake up and do something.

35. Support local music. I know this is a strange one, but I promise you that whatever watered down crap on commercial radio that you're listening to will be topped by some people in a cool club in your town. Don't like the hipsters in there? That's OK. If you lift, hipsters won't speak to you.

36. Work hard for your athletes. When you're fired (I told you earlier to be ready), make sure you're fired for working hard for your athletes, not for lack of coaching.

37. Live outside your comfort zone. One of my mentors and friends is an architect who runs and bikes. He has been in operas and has founded a huge art event in my city. I did 40 push-ups in front of him on my birthday and he thought that I was the strongest man on earth. I learn more from him than from most people in my life, but on the surface, we have very little in common. I told him about my tickets to Hatebreed and he couldn't stop laughing at the name, as he likes bluegrass. So reach outside yourself.

38. Put away your phone during dinner and speak to those around you. Breaking bread with others humans is one of the best ways to get to know them.

39. Share what you have. If you're reading this, you're one of the richest people in the history of humanity. Share what you have in any way that you can.

40. Appreciate the gift.

I hope some of what I've written has made you think about life, lifting and rocking and rolling. When you reach the end of the road, it doesn't matter how much stuff or money you have. What matters is how much of an impact you've made.