It was Friday, February 18th; I finished work early and stopped home to pack a bag for the weekend. Sure I should have done that the night before but wrestling was on and I haven’t matured much since eighth grade. Anyway, I jumped in my truck shortly after noon, and prepared for the four hour ride from Jersey to Boston. As I passed through Hartford at five miles per hour in bumper to bumper traffic it became apparent that the ride was going to take a lot longer than normal. By the time I hit Massachusetts I had already made two stops, one for pizza and one for Burger King. At the rate I was going, I figured I was a Dairy Queen away from a heart attack and from missing dinner with the boys. Finally the traffic let up and I made my way to Everett and the Five Points Sheraton. I called Jim Wendler on his cell phone and he told me we were going to eat in ten minutes. Whew, just in time. I quickly showered the smell of Dominos and Whoppers off and changed into some clean clothes. CJ Murphy who was hosting the seminar at his place, Total Performance Sports (www.totalperformancesports.com), walked into the lobby and told me, “They said to look for the gay looking dude, so I’m assuming that’s you.” I laughed and knew it was going to be a good weekend. Before that night, I had only talked to Murph on the phone and through emails. My relationship with Dave Tate was the same, having never met him face to face. However, after spending the weekend with them, my respect and admiration for them both has gone up tenfold. I only wish I could say the same for Wendler.
The four of us piled into Dave’s rented SUV and headed to the Lone Star for ribs and beer. Being from the New York area, I, of course, know more than a few metrosexuals and was excited about heading out on a Friday night with without one of them in sight. At dinner I learned that Dave Tate may be the smartest business man in the strength and conditioning industry. He gave me more valuable, useful information than I have ever gotten from any books or courses. We talked about everything from doing business online to running a profitable strength and conditioning facility. Dave was a wealth of knowledge and held absolutely nothing back.
Soon our business talk turned into a dissection of the entire industry and we all sat around in awe as we listened to one story after another about all the scam artists and liars. I am proud to say that much of Dave’s angry rant in his training log on February 23rd was based on stories that I told him. This topic of conversation continued into breakfast the next morning where among other things we collectively concluded that egg whites, extra protein, and paying attention to nutrition in general were all, in fact “gay.” We also decided that anyone who is going to put out a training course or book on strongman training damn sure better have some experience lifting stones and tires. If you want to learn about strongman training call CJ Murphy or buy his DVD, he knows what he’s talking about and actually competes in strongman contests. He is not jumping on the bandwagon now because it has become popular. Beware of buying strongman products from a weak man.
After breakfast we headed to Murph’s place for the seminar, although not before Jim had to make an emergency stop for the latest issue of Jugs Magazine. During the seminar Jim and Dave did an outstanding job as usual and everyone got more than their moneys worth. If everyone in attendance didn’t go home and immediately put some pounds on their total then they weren’t paying attention. How anyone could listen to these guys speak and not get psyched up to lift some heavy weights is beyond me. During a break Murph and I commented to each other about how well the seminar was going and how we were both reminded of things that we had forgotten. Just by sitting there and watching Dave and Jim coach the different lifts I picked up a few great pointers that I have put to use already with great results.
When the seminar finished, a group of us headed out for dinner and a few beers. After the food was done, we all stayed and drank several more beers and shots for over six hours while listening to Matt Rhodes and Jim tell stories and recite lines from Old School and Dodgeball. Unfortunately I hadn’t seen Dodgeball and had only watched Old School approximately forty three times less than Jim and Rhodes so I was unable to join in the fun. I will say that I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time and had a great night with some great people. In between listening to impressions Dave and I continued to talk business and trade stories. At one point I nearly got his head to spin like the Exorcist as I relayed some of my first hand experiences with some of the industries top “Yodas.”
The problem with our industry is that everyone is an expert. Everyone is selling something and they will do whatever it takes to make the sale. Now, don’t get me wrong I like 130 pound, athletic looking, brunette surfer girls as much as the next guy. But when one of them decides to call his training company the same name as mine and make the name synonymous with overtraining, inordinate amounts of GPP and performing all of your exercises with five pound dumbbells while riding a skateboard, I get a little bit pissed off. Anyone can make their athletes run till they puke. That doesn’t make them better athletes and it doesn’t make you a better coach for doing so. Anyone can quote the bible and lie about who they train or what teams they have worked for. Again, that doesn’t make you a better coach. It just means you’re an asshole.
I also get a little bit pissed off when some one claims that structural balance and perfect posture is the most important thing for any athlete. Tell Mike Tyson that his forward head carriage and internally rotated shoulders have negatively affected his performance and that he should have been working on that all of these years as his number one priority. And then tell me how you like eating from a straw for the rest of your life. Dave told me a story about how one of these postural balance gurus once engaged him in debate in a public forum. Dave basically crushed his whole theory on abdominal activation during the squat and had him changing his tune in embarrassment.
We also talked about the tempo gods and the masters of unstable surface training. Next we discussed the benefits of sleeping in glass cases, cardboard boxes and dog cages. Apparently each one has its own benefits and is specifically related to each of the big three lifts. An entirely different benefit can be derived from simultaneously injecting motor oil, Growth Hormone, Vitamin D, and the sperm of an African teenager from the Ashwaganda tribe into your left hip flexor at 3pm on a Tuesday. This has apparently been proven to improve your overhead pressing power by 24.5% in as little as 72 hours (I know you beat me to it Dave, but I couldn’t resist taking a shot at it).
Again we sat and laughed in disbelief. The sad part of all of this is that so many people get sucked into the gimmicks of all of these Yodas and fail to realize what is really important. An example of this was the 140 pound seminar attendee who wondered what he could do to improve his GPP. He was convinced that increasing his level of conditioning was the key to improving his performance. The only reason any rationale thinking 140 pound human being would believe that is because he has been brainwashed to do so by reading all of this science fiction. How about gaining weight? How about lifting heavier? No one wants to talk about that because, as Jim says, that’s hard work. It’s a lot easier to strap on a pair of rollerblades and do military presses with a double sided vibrator. That way when some one questions why you are so weak, you can tell them, “I’m not weak, I’m doing functional training.” If you are lucky and they are gullible enough, they will think you are on to the next big thing and before you know it you can write books and sell videos teaching people your gimmick laced system. I discovered one of these all knowing guru’s once, in my early twenties, and within two years my bodyweight was down twenty pounds, squatting 225 was hard and excruciatingly painful and I was injured every day of the year.
After a dozen or so beers and a number of shots it was time to go home. When we got in the car, Jim removed the hat he had been wearing all night, and like a good friend, I decided it was time for an intervention. “Dude, you’re really hanging on to those last strands of hair for dear life, huh? Don’t you think it might be time to shave it?” Dave joined in quickly because friends don’t let friends drive with terribly thinning hair. Luckily Jim took it well and agreed that we were right. I look forward to welcoming him to the club.
After four hours of sleep I dragged myself out of bed and into the shower and thought about why Dave and Jim are so successful and so well liked in this industry. Besides selling great products and providing people with the best training information on the net, there is so much more to what they do. I respect the fact that Dave, Jim, and Murph write about and teach only what they know works from experience. When some one asks me what the key is to being a good coach, I tell them one thing, “experience.” I learn something every day from in the gym experience. I don’t care how many books you read or how many studies you can quote, it all means nothing if you have no experience training yourself or others. There are several “experts” in this industry who are in their early twenties. I’m sorry but no matter how much you think you know and how much experience you think you have at that age, it pales in comparison to that of Dave Tate or Louie Simmons, and it’s not worth a damn in my eyes. There are other “experts” that have only trained two clients and yet others who train absolutely no one! Yet they write like they have 100 years experience working with over 10,000 athletes. Trust me; I am not making this up. Experience is by far and away the best teacher. Unless you have spent time under the bar and continue to do so on a regular basis your advice is useless. The majority of what I know has come from experience and I only write about what I have tried first on myself and secondly on my athletes. I have gone from a 140 pound high school senior to a 230 pound thirty year old. Since I have done that, and have helped more athletes than I can count, routinely gain twenty to thirty pounds in a summer, I feel I am qualified to write about getting bigger. Since everyday, I help all of my athletes break school records on the field and in the weight room, I fell I am qualified to write about the training of athletes. You need help coming back from injuries? I have blown out two disks in my lower back in a ski accident and can tell you that reverse hypers four days a week, along with tons of stretching and mobility work helps in a major way. Tear a trap or a rotator cuff? Me too. What about a broken ankle, torn ligaments, bursitis, a broken wrist, a dislocated elbow, carpal tunnel, tennis elbow, tendonitis or a stinger from falling on your head? I’ve had them all and can tell you ways to work around those injuries or rehab them. If an athlete calls and asks me to improve his sprint time I tell him that I can definitely do that. If a powerlifter calls and says his bench is stuck at 800 and he needs some advice, I can’t do that. Call Dave or Louie. I have never benched 800 pounds or anywhere close so I have no right to talk about it or attempt to help some one. Unfortunately many of the “Yodas” think they have all the answers and will give them to you for twenty five bucks a minute. Don’t believe them.
A famous rapper once finished a song by saying, “Not this time but next time, I’ma name names.” That is my current stand on revealing the identities of the Yodas. The next time will come when this shit gets too far out of hand.
Fortunately there are actually some genuinely good people in this industry as well. People who know of which they speak and are actually respectable, stand up human beings who care about what they do and aren’t just out to make a quick buck. On top of that list would, of course, be my friends Dave Tate, Jim Wendler and CJ Murphy. When you read or learn something from these guys, you can be guaranteed that the information is priceless. When you do business with them you can be guaranteed an unsurpassed level of service and respect. Some of my other friends and well known colleagues such Alwyn Cosgrove, Brian Grasso and Chris Scarborough all fall into the same category and are right there at the top of my list. And although I don’t know them personally, I respect greatly and have learned a lot from Buddy Morris, Tom Msylinski, Joe Kenn and the master himself, Louie Simmons. These are guys who you should put your trust in and, if you choose to do so, spend your money with.
When the seminar was done we all said our goodbyes and I hopped back in the car for what I hoped would be a much shorter ride home. It was one of the better weekends I have had in a while and I was very happy I got to spend that time with my friends. I couldn’t wait to get home and get to work implementing all of the great advice Dave gave me. By the time I got home, I was exhausted. I sat down on the couch to unwind and watch a little TV before going to bed. I noticed that Dodgeball was on pay per view and since Jim and Rhodes had already recited half of it at dinner the night before, I figured I would watch the other half. One line stood out in particular as a perfect summary for many of our conversations that weekend. I think it’s safe to say that I speak for Dave, Jim and Murph when I say to the all the Yodas out there that, “It’s time for you to put your mouths where our balls are.”