How to Stay Small and Weak

I walked into a weight room for the very first time in July 1999. It was the beginning of football two-a-days, and I was about to begin my freshman year of high school. At 135 pounds, I looked and felt out of place. I remember watching a senior that everyone called “Jonesy,” who was jacked and as strong as an ox. I don’t recall his exact numbers, but he was a lean 190 pounds at 5’10” and one of the strongest guys on the team. I knew that I wanted to look like him and I wanted to move weight like he did. I started lifting that day, and I haven’t stopped since. The smell, the atmosphere, and the sound of TOOL blaring from the speakers hooked me immediately. I wanted to be big and strong, and I knew it was just a matter of time.

I picked up a muscle magazine on my way home from practice that evening and found what I needed if I wanted to get big and strong:

1. Supplements
2. A 6-Day Body Part Split
3. Chicken, Brown Rice, Broccoli

That was it; with those three things, I would get jacked and strong.

So, I went and picked up some protein powder. I wrote my training programming by combining everything from the magazine. It was a cluster of programming that had me train six days a week (you know, because I needed a biceps and calves day…). I also gave my mom a grocery list (remember that I was only 14) and had her get a lot of chicken, brown rice, broccoli, egg whites, and other traditional bodybuilding foods.

I trained hard and ate strictly. Five months later, that December, I still weighed 135 pounds. I could tell by looking in the mirror that I had built a little muscle, and I had lost a little fat, but I was still 135 pounds. I was small and weak, and I couldn’t figure out why. I had done what the magazines said and hadn’t gone far, so I started asking the biggest, strongest seniors on the football team for advice. I asked them:

• What supplements do I need to buy?
• What is the best protein powder?
• What is the best training split?
• What is the best exercise for (insert body part here)?

They gave me answers I didn’t expect:

• You need to eat more food.
• Try drinking a gallon of milk a day.
• You only need to train three to four days a week.
• Squats, deadlifts, bench presses, and power cleans should be the base of your training.
• Train to get stronger and be a better football player on the field.

This is when shit got real. Those seniors gave me valuable advice, but I was still too stubborn to listen. It wasn’t what the magazines said, and the guys in the magazines were bigger and stronger, so why would I listen?

I kept spinning my wheels for a few months until I finally decided to take their advice. I started drinking a gallon of milk a day. I started to train smarter. I still did stupid things, but I was squatting, deadlifting, doing power cleans, bench pressing, doing chins, etc. I still did too many accessory movements and trained every body part on its own day. I still couldn’t figure out what muscle the power clean worked.

Several months later, in July, I was back in two-a-days and weighed 151 pounds. I had finally gained a little muscle.  I thought maybe my teammates were right, so I listened to them even more. The new football coach gave me the book, “Bigger, Faster, Stronger,” when I asked him about a training program. He simply told me, “Follow this.”

I ended up “getting it,” for the most part, but I still had a lot to learn. I kept training hard for the next several years and graduated high school at a lean 185 pounds. In my freshmen year of college, I finally broke into the 190s. If only I had known then what I know now…

Because of all the information on the Internet and in magazines to tell you how to get bigger and stronger, I’ve decided to share with you how to stay small and weak because that is what I see so many lifters do.

Buy the Newest, Latest, and Greatest Supplement

This is key. You see, the biggest, strongest guys in the world have found the one secret supplement that makes you 10,000-percent more anabolic and unlocks your growth potential through a magical mechanism that’s only been done in Belgian blue bulls. If this one doesn’t work for you like it did for the guy who is pictured in the ad, then it isn’t your magic supplement. Turn the page and find the new preworkout that gives skin-tearing pumps and contains a key ingredient that is one molecule away from pure methamphetamine. If you follow it up with their post workout formula, the protein and special super-secret patented carbohydrate combination will go straight to your muscles and add up to 150% more muscle than eating the same amount of protein and carbohydrates in a meal.

In all seriousness, supplements aren’t all bad. There are some great standup companies in the industry that provide high-quality supplements — but there’s also a lot of junk. Let’s look at the word “supplement” and see what it really means.

Supplement: A product taken orally that contains one or more ingredients (as vitamins or amino acids) that are intended to supplement one’s diet and are not considered food.

Now, there is a different way to look at this. Let’s say that you have a well-paying career and pick up a fun low-pay side job to supplement your income and give you extra spending money. Would you quit your career and try to make a living off your low-paying side job? Of course not. We all know that this wouldn’t be a smart decision, yet guys do this all the time with supplements. They spend their hard-earned money on supplements instead of food all the time. This is just as crazy.

If you’ve got some extra cash (after all of your food), the following supplements are a great place to start. They are not necessary, but for guys who want to get bigger and stronger, they may be helpful.

1. Protein powder
2. Creatine
3. Fish Oil
4. Multi-vitamin

Follow the Insanely High-Volume Training Programs, Training Multiple Days a Week

Because your base of strength is so low as a beginner, we want to make sure we are doing enough volume that you are forced to use even lighter weight. We don’t want any adaption response from the body getting bigger or stronger; we just want to burn a ton of calories and get a sweet pump. We want to do stuff like hit failure on incline dumbbell presses on our drop sets that start with 30-pound dumbbells and end with 15-pound dumbbells. Why train three days a week if you can train six days a week? We don’t want to have time to rest and recover, and we want to keep burning maximum calories, because burning calories is trendy.

The magazines, books, and hearsay tell you that the way to get big is to follow the programs that professional bodybuilders use. I’m here to tell you that they are wrong.

First of all, a professional bodybuilder who has years of training experience should and will train differently than you. What is their goal at the time? Are they pre-contest? Are they bringing up a weak point? You shouldn’t train like a pre-contest bodybuilder, and you damn sure shouldn’t be working on a weak point if you don’t have some serious size. Do you want to know what your weak point is as a beginner? Everything.

If it works for them, it will work for you, right? False. In reality, those programs are typically a snapshot of a possible training program, but they’re not the big picture. It’s now how the bodybuilders got to that point. Sometimes it’s just made up to look more “hardcore.” The top bodybuilders have different goals than most of us. They’ve already developed insane amount of muscle mass, and most of their training programs to obtain this mass looked much different than they look now. They also have freak genetics that most of us lack.

If you’re starting your journey to get big and strong, master these lifts:

• Squat
• Deadlift
• Bench Press
• Overhead Press
• Rows
• Pull Ups and Chin Ups

Train three to four days a week and focus on slowly adding more weight to the bar. That’s it. It isn’t sexy or trendy, but it works.

Eat Like a Pre-Contest Bodybuilder Yearround

This diet is key to staying small and weak. You should only eat egg whites, chicken, broccoli, tuna, brown rice, sweet potatoes, and protein powder. Carrying around a gallon jug of water is optional but recommended. You definitely don’t want to take in many carbs and should keep calories low. You can have a cheat meal once every 14 days — but be careful here as well. We are trying to stay below maintenance on calories. Carry your meals around in plastic containers. If you can stay hungry all the time, this is even better.

This may all sound funny, and it is, but I’ve seen it firsthand. If you weigh 150 pounds and are any taller than five feet yet eat this way, you will be forever small and weak. You have to eat some damn food if you want to get big and strong. Some say that progress is 70 percent diet and 30 percent training or some other absurd percentage breakdown. Do you want to know what it takes to truly get big and strong? 100 percent commitment to diet and 100 percent commitment to training.

I can see how it might be confusing to new lifters why they shouldn’t eat like a bodybuilder. The bodybuilders eat that way, and they are huge. The thing is, the diets of these guys typically reflect their pre-contest diet. You cannot expect to eat like this and get any bigger or stronger. While traditional bodybuilding foods, or “clean” foods are fine, you’re going to need to add some of the following:

• Beef (all cuts – from fatty to leaner)
• Whole Eggs
• Bacon
• Potatoes
• Sweet Potatoes
• Red Potatoes
• Milk
• Dark Meat Chicken
• White Rice
• Oatmeal
• Peanut Butter
• Fruit
• Nuts
• Bread
• Cheese
• Cottage Cheese
• Mashed Potatoes

The above foods, combined with traditional bodybuilding foods, should make up the majority of your diet. I do recommend adding in some “dirty” foods as well. The best, in my opinion:

• Burgers
• Pizza
• Mexican Foods
• Chocolate Milk
• Milkshakes

There are many options, but I don’t recommend a ton of fast food. I’d recommend a good burger and fries from a nice sit-down restaurant over a drive-thru. While drive-thru food can and will give you plenty of calories, the quality of food is very poor and full of junk. Occasional fast food will be fine but don’t make it a staple.

Obsess Over Always Needing to See Your Abs

To stay small and weak, your abs must always be visible. Every single day of the year, you need to look at your abs in the mirror to make sure that they are still there. If they start to look less crisp or a little soft, you must immediately pull some carbs out of your diet. We can’t have you getting any bigger or stronger.

I made this mistake. When I was in high school, I had abs year-round. I was proud of them and didn’t want to lose them. It wasn’t until I got to college that I let them go. I also went from 190 to 210 during this time — with the majority of the gains being muscle. I did lose sight of my abs during this time, but I didn’t mind once I realized I finally had much better arms, pecs, traps, and lats. It was a nice trade-off.

But what about the ladies? I know a lot of guys want abs to impress the ladies. Here are my thoughts on this:

1. If a girl is only concerned with dating you because of your abs, she’s shallow and not worth dating to begin with.
2. If you’re looking to “get lucky” and think the abs will help, you’re wrong. If you get a girl back to your place and things are heading in that direction, I can promise you that once your shirt comes off and she sees no abs, she won’t turn back. She probably won’t even notice.
3. I asked my wife what her favorite body parts are on me right now (out of curiosity for this article), and she said, “arms, pecs, and back.” No mention of abs, although I’m very lean right now. Over the years I’ve asked other ladies the same things and typically hear what my wife said. The only other common response has been glutes and quads. You see, most guys are more worried about impressing other guys with their abs than they are worried about impressing the ladies. The ladies like some freaking muscle mass.

I’m not giving you permission to let yourself go and become fat (unless that’s your goal). This isn’t a license to get fat just to get big and strong, but if you lose sight of those abs, it is not a big deal. Remember that it takes years to build true size and strength, and it only takes weeks to see those abs again — trust me, I’m speaking from years of experience. Keep the fat gain under control and in check, but do not obsess over abs.

No one reading this site truly wants to stay small and weak, but I guarantee that a handful of you reading this article are guilty of the above statements. The reason I say this is because I get questions all the time from guys wanting to get big and strong, yet they do these things.

We all have various goals, but I don’t know anyone who didn’t want to get bigger and stronger and started lifting weights. If you are guilty of any of the above, make the necessary changes and thank me next year. Yes, next year. Those “six weeks to bigger this,” or “eight weeks to bigger that” programs are a joke. Spend the next 52 weeks of training and eating to get bigger and stronger. While you still won’t be where you want, you’ll be a year closer. Most importantly — you won’t be forever small and weak.

Originally published in September of 2014