Many people in our industry seem to be against New Year's resolutions. It is as if we look down on those who do not prioritize their physical appearance and health throughout the year. During the holidays, we complain about people who want to make a life change after the first of the year.
After seeing so many condescending posts on social media over the last few weeks, I realized that some of us SHOULD make a New Year's resolution. If you have made a post, commented, or even thought negatively about new people coming into "your" gym and trying to make a positive change for themselves, I have your resolution: Do not be such a dick in 2024.
That is right; I am the guy who sticks up for the resolutioners in the gym who steal your parking spots and piss you off before you even step foot in the gym. Why? Because I know I started somewhere, and you know you did, as well. To have been in that position and then get irritated at other people for doing the same thing is, well, being a dick.
I have been training for 40 years this April and I have competed since I was 20 years old. I have spent more time in the gym than most who will read this article. After all of that time, I do not think I am better than anyone else, and I do not believe that someone who does not know what they are doing does not belong in "my" gym. It irritates me to hear or read comments that imply bodybuilders have earned the right to be in the gym and other people are nothing more than obstacles. The hubris is laughable.
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Here are my pointers to avoid being a dick in 2024:
Do Not Be A Lazy Dick
If the parking lot is full or busier than usual, you likely could use the added steps by parking further away. Not even the best physiques are lean in January. If you are pretty damn lean in January, you are likely not big enough (skinny guys always have great abs). Instead of whining, save your energy, get in the gym, and put that energy into getting bigger. Do not be a lazy dick.
Do Not Be an Opinionated Dick
If someone is doing an exercise with horrible form, keep your mouth shut, and that also means not posting about it on social media. First, I am quite sure that I could pick you apart on at least one exercise every time you go into the gym, and you have likely been training a lot longer than the person you are judging. Second, I am not sure who appointed you the form police. Here is a novel idea: focus on what YOU are doing. We now live in a society that thinks everyone needs or wants our opinion. Do not be an opinionated dick.
Do Not Be a High and Mighty Dick
Is someone filming themselves?! How dare they do that without first clearing it with you? I have never understood why this bothers so many people. I guess I just go to the gym to train, mind my business, and leave people alone unless they are directly impacting me in some way. As long as I have trained, and in as many different gyms as I have trained, I have never once had any issues with anyone filming themselves. Why? Because I am not a dick.
Do Not Be An Insecure Dick
Some kid took off his shirt and is posing in the mirror? How insecure are you if you are bothered by a kid posing his little muscles in the mirror? Why would it bother you if someone small might be excited about progressing and want to see the changes they have made? I would rather see an enthusiastic and motivated kid than a grown man with insecurities bothered by such innocuous behavior. Do not be an insecure dick.
Do Not Be A Selfish Dick
Mr #Beastmode Guy:
"I just put my earbuds in, pull my hoodie over my head, and do not talk to anyone. I am just here to train, and I am not responding to anyone if they ask me a question or want to talk."
Thanks, dick. You are what I (and many others) have to fight against daily. You are why people who do not work out think we are all arrogant dicks. If someone asks you a question, they think you look the part and might know something. Instead of being flattered, you reinforce your arrogance. You are too good to take thirty seconds between sets to be nice to someone who is just starting out and has no clue what they are doing. If you can not have a conversation for thirty seconds between sets without it screwing up your workout, you should not think so highly of yourself. I have had several conversations with a past Mr. Olympia while he was training, and it was not me who started the conversation. He was not a dick, but it sounds like you are.
The Positive of Resolutioners
Do you know what I like about resolutioners? They are somehow able to hit the toilet with their piss instead of pissing all over the floor in the gym bathroom. They also take care of their weights, do not yell, do not slam weights, do not act like they are "going to war" when they train, and they do not walk around like they own the place. I have yet to encounter a resolutioner that will say "no" if I ask them to work in with them. Usually, they just say they are done (whether they are or not) and insist I use the machine while they do something else.
I can not remember the last time "Mr. Beastmode" offered for me to work in. It is usually a scowl followed by a faux Randy Savage tone of, "I have five more sets." The more I think about it, the more I would rather the entire gym was filled with resolutioners.
Here's the long and the short of it:
You are not better than anyone else. Even if you are bigger and stronger than someone else and go to the gym five times a week, you do not hold a higher position; there is no hierarchy, no matter what your ego tells you.
If you say, "I am just joking when I make those comments," no, you are not. You said it and meant it; that is how it works. I see my female classmates post pictures on Facebook and receive comment after comment from their friends about how gorgeous they are. They aren't. I do not lie and tell them they are gorgeous, and I do not tell them they look old, ugly, and fat. I simply do not respond. It really is that simple.
Out Dick The Dick
If you are negative to other people in the gym, you are the reason people think all of us are dicks. If you are a nice guy in the gym like I am, join me, and let's out-dick the dicks in a 2024 Dick Challenge. Or if you hear someone being dicky in the gym, jump all over that dick; OWN THAT DICK. Be relentless and ride that dick until one of you quits. If you think you challenged and beat the biggest dick in 2024, I want to hear about it in the comments below.
Let's see if my editor insists on me rewriting that last paragraph—Just Sayin'.
Ken “Skip” Hill has actively participated in the sport of bodybuilding for almost forty years, competing for twenty-plus years. Born and raised in Michigan, he spent 21 years calling Colorado home with his wife and their four children. Four years ago, he and his wife traded the mountains for the beach, relocating to South Florida. His primary focus is nutrition and supplementation, but he is called upon for his years of training experience, as well. He started doing online contest prep in 2001 and is considered one of the original contest prep guys (when the bodybuilding message boards were still in their infancy). Skip’s track record with competitive bodybuilders is well-respected, and he also does sport-specific conditioning, including professional athletes.
