It’s here. Halloween. The time of year that you steal all of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups from your son’s candy bag and pretend you have no idea where they could’ve gone missing. The time of year you stop shaving your back hair by explaining that you’re growing it out for a Sasquatch costume.
Because we assume you aren’t scared of Michael Myers or demonic possession, we’ve decided to talk to you about what you are scared of: terrible training. More strength athletes have lost sleep over an injury than over the scariest of all horror movies. In honor of this, team elitefts has compiled the scariest, I-just-shit-myself workouts they’ve ever seen. To start, here are Dave Tate’s 5 favorite exercises.
5 Exercise You Should Always Do
1. Depth Jumps off A House
Great for building explosive power and with the increase in medical technology you have a very good chance of becoming bionic with ankle, knee, and hip replacements.
2. Step-Back Lunges off a High Ladder
In all sports, it is vital to learn how to fall. This not only teaches that but will help to overcome fear.
3. 100-Pound Weight Vest Mountain-Climbers to Failure Underwater
These are great for the “spirit” and “motivation.” Many have said that seeing the white light has changed their perspective on training. Since we came into this world in water, what better way to experience the white light effect?
4. 150% Ballistic Bench Presses
For maximal overload, stretch reflex, rebound, and heart contraction. Unpack the bar and drop it on your chest as hard as you can.
5. Reverse Band Wall Sprints
Attach band to wall. Step back until you get maximal tension. Using the band for overspeed, run as fast as you can with no deceleration, directly into the wall. The body needs to be able to absorb force before it can produce force.
DISCLAIMER: This is a JOKE, it is meant to be FUNNY. This is NOT serious and in NO WAY suggested to do.
In addition to these muscle-destroying (and bone-, joint-, ligament-, and life-destroying) exercises, team elitefts has a few other exercises to add to the list of Scariest Shit We’ve Ever Seen:
Drop Bench Press. Here’s how to do it: Load a bar with 80%, take it out of the rack, hold it at lockout and then DROP the bar. Let go completely. Catch the weight again before it hits your chest. This is the “build speed or die” method.
Squat jumps on a stability ball with a loaded bar. If you can increase the speed of the eccentric enough, you will gain rebound from the ball and create a top-speed overload. Done correctly, your feet will leave the ball and for the next rep you will come down with even more force, producing more rebound. By the end of your set, you should be jumping several feet off the ball. It is recommend to do this movement only in gyms with high ceilings.
Double supinated (palms up) deadlifting. Instead of using just one under-hand for your max deadlift, use two. This is mainly used as a testing exercise to learn if you’re susceptible to biceps tears.
Olympic lifting movements for reps or time. These are even more effective if you keep a slow tempo. Count seconds between the pulls for a clean: four seconds from the floor to your knees, six seconds for the second pull to the catch, and 10 seconds for the remainder of the lift. The slower the eccentric the better.
Neck Harness Deadlifts. Have you ever been to a meet and seen a lifter stare at the floor while he deadlifts? Nine times out of ten the lifter misses the pull. Here’s the drill you need to keep your head up: buy a head and neck harness and attach it to two 25-pound plates. The harness will force you to pull your head back as you deadlift the bar.
Solo Bench Shirt. Train by yourself on max effort bench day (works best if you use bench in a shirt).
Triple Conjugated Tri-set. Do a tri-set of 1RM deadlift, weighted box jumps, and bodyweight box jumps. This counts as “conjugate programming” because you’re doing max effort, dynamic effort, and repetition effort all in a row.
We hate to have to say it again, but…DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL A JOKE.
In case you’re looking for a scary workout that isn’t going to injure you when done correctly, team elitefts has a few crazy ideas you can try. These will suck, these will make you feel like puking up all of that Halloween candy, but they will make you better.
Brutal Squat Workout 1
Leg Press — Work up to a max set of 20, strip weight for 20 more, strip again for 20 more.
Leg Extensions — Another strip sets of 20, 20, 20. If you can only do 12, having a training partner help you get 20.
Squat — 15 reps, strip weight for 10 more reps, strip again for 10 more reps.
50 yards walking lunges. If you fall, get back up.
Brutal Squat Workout 2
Safety Squat Yoke Bar Squat
50% + Heavy Band x 2 x 2
50% + Heavy Band + Average Band x 2 x 2
50% + Heavy Band + 2 Average Bands x 2 x 2
50% + Heavy Band + 2 Average Bands + Light Band x 2 x 2
Do in a dynamic effort rest period — only 30-60 seconds rest between sets.
Brutal Squat Workout 3
Lying Leg Curls 4 sets of 15 and then a drop set of partials for 40, 30, 20 reps
Leg Press working up to 3 heavy sets of 10 supersetted with walking lunges for 3 sets of 20. Then a rep dropset on leg press for 20, 30, 40, 50 reps.
Leg extensions for 4 sets of 15 with 20 bottom-range pulses at the end of each set.
Leg curls for 3 sets of 20
After any of these workouts, push the prowler for one mile using each set of handles.
Halloween Desktop Wallpapers
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Halloween Phone Wallpapers
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