Hi Zane,
I just read your last article and thought it was great. It's a shame that you've had so many injuries, but to look at it slightly brighter, not many people would have the fortitude to even try to work around them.
It sounds paradoxical and weird but sometimes our body parts are "realer" once they've broken or are no longer working properly because we just take it for granted that they're there, are excellent, and are functioning. Three years ago I ruptured the ACL in my left knee and haven't had it reconstructed, so I'm one ligament down in that knee, but weirdly, it exists more for me by not being there than it would if it was there. By that I mean I didn't even know there were knee ligaments, or that there were four of them before I ruptured one. Although the other knee is just fine, I pay it no attention. It's like having two kids with one requiring more attention than the other—you grow a special affection for the delinquent.
I found that my knee was unstable at the bottom position of a back squat. I tried to fight through it for two years, but hardly went anywhere with my numbers. The final straw for me is I started tearing the quad of the leg without the ACL. (Well, by the third or fourth time I tore it.) I quit training for four or six weeks, and tried to get the barbell out of my head. It worked.
Then I realized that deadlifting never bothered my knee. It just seems like in strength and conditioning in America there is a fetish for the back squat (bracket the specifics of powerlifting). So I started training again and deadlifting frequently (doing heavy pulls for rep records and varying weights, varying the type of pull, every four days). I did some light back squatting too for around six months. Then I discovered front squatting and found that, for whatever reason, it doesn't bother my knee. So for the last year I've been deadlifting every four days and front squatting two to three times a week, working around my particular pathology. I'm stronger than I've ever been in my life. It's even been a blessing in that I had no idea how strong front squats would make my abs and spinal erectors (especially the thoracic) which have in turn helped my deadlift considerably. I just turned 29 a few days ago, have been lifting for ten years, and have never done a power meet. Even if it's just a push/pull, I want to do one now.
One psychological trick that I've found that nearly always works is making two categories in my thinking: stuff I can work on and stuff I can't do anything about. And anything in that second category of thought I try not to entertain even for a minute. It's like being angry about the weather.
When things go wrong it causes depression. But then there is almost a shame in being depressed, which leads to a double depression. The onus is on us to be excellent and successful. It’s like with birthdays—there’s such a pressure on you to be happy that it can make you miserable.
Your article was excellent. It takes courage to stand under heavy weight. It also takes courage to come under the scrutiny of strangers. But sometimes people are more sympathetic than we initially suspect.
Cheers,
Richie
