Top Ten EFS Gifts Guaranteed to Irritate Your Neighbors!

The Christmas holidays are a time for cheer, reflection, and goodwill towards men, right? However, do you feel those things towards the neighbors who got on your nerves all year long? Leaving a gift in a burning paper bag (with help from your dog) is not really a good expression of holiday cheer, even though it's amusing. Here are some gift ideas from elitefts™ that are guaranteed to irritate your neighbors without lowering your property values and will still keep you in shape.

1. The Prowler 2

Tell me you didn’t see this one coming. Not only is the Prowler a great conditioning tool, but there’s nothing like waking up the neighborhood to the sound of steel grinding on pavement early in the morning. Especially for the neighbor who complains about your dogs barkin,g or your truck’s muffler system.

2. EFS Pulling Sled

If you can’t afford the Prowler, the sled is the next best thing. Westside Barbell made this popular in the early 90's, and it’s still going strong. Plus, the total square inches of metal touching the ground is more than what the Prowler has to offer, which makes the noise that much better.

3. Gill Steel Hammer or Throwing Weights

Good for conditioning, strength and grip work. Oh, it might occasionally land in someone’s front yard and create huge divots...and it had absolutely NOTHING to do with that obnoxious party they threw back on the Fourth of July.

4. Loadable Hammer

I found out that working with a sledgehammer and large tire is great conditioning. It works the upper back, shoulders, and forearms, and is harder than it sounds. Your neighbors will love it when you drag a large tire to the front yard and start hammering away on it without a shirt on…especially when their relatives are visiting.

5. EFS Rickshaw

This gem can be easily set up in the street and is good for conditioning, grip, and your legs. Load it up and go. You might slow traffic down a bit, especially early in the morning when the snotty neighbor who works at the bank is trying to get to work.

6. Spud Pulling Harness

You can hook up to your obnoxiously loud elitefts™ dragging sled or you can hook it up to your truck, put it in neutral, and start pulling. Like the Rickshaw, this might slow neighborhood traffic.

7. EFS Log Press

You can set up in the garage, driveway, or even the street. The noise as it hits the ground after a set of cleans or presses is great, especially for multiple sets. I also learned a great conditioning/stabilizing exercise from Josh Bryant that involves cleaning the log and pressing it overhead, and then walking a short distance with it. Try this when someone is showing their house for a sale.

8. Conan’s Trainer and Yoke

This is a great staple for strongman training and another great conditioning tool. Your driveway may be large enough for this. However, if not, you can set it up by the street. For extra room, do so near your neighbor’s driveway. If he gets upset, remind him of when he blocked your driveway a few months ago, wouldn’t answer his door, and made you late for work. In addition, the neighbors will love hearing the sound of this hitting the ground about as much as they like your early morning Prowler workouts.

9. Farmer’s Walk Handles

These are another strongman cornerstone and conditioner. For best results, you can do it for distance, short walks, or with obstacles in the street. The driveway isn’t long enough! Again, the sounds when you let go are cool. So what if the neighbors don’t like it? Your conditioning is going up, and you’ve got a great forearm pump!

10. EFS Home Gym Setup

The garage gym is last, but not least. If you’re having trouble putting up with the local gyms/health clubs, then there’s nothing better than setting up your own garage gym. EFS has everything you need to build at home and then some.  This gives you the opportunity to train at your convenience, and the neighbors will love the sounds of Pantera and heavy deadlifts at 11PM or early morning.

I consider myself to be a good neighbor. I keep my yard nice, my house quiet, and respect those in my neighborhood. Now, when that one nice lady complains when my dogs bark during the day (they stay in at night), I take slight offense. For the few that insist on trying to drive down our property values by letting their front yard look like crap, well, that just isn’t right. The same goes for the idiots who rent a house to anyone waving cash. If you find yourself in the same situation, then consider some of these gift ideas.

After reviewing this list, I realize how devious I’ve become in my old age. Maybe I’ve been reading too much of Wendler’s stuff...