Excuses Suck.

I had a nationals meet for the Paralympics on March 19.

The facts:

  • I got a competition PR on my second lift.
  • I missed my last lift.
  • I just got it for two singles the week before and once the week before that.
  • Both scapulars came apart as I began to press and my lats flattened on my last lift.

The excuses:

  • Female issues.
  • Loss of a pound and a half in three days.
  • Bench is different, therefore, strapping is different and legs lay different.
  • Rack ‘seems’ wider, so it’s harder for me to get my tightness.
  • Bench is cushioned more, so it’s harder to dig my scaps in.

Chances are, outside of your trainer and a few close fellow powerlifters, the people that ask you how your meet went don’t know a darn thing about your sport. Therefore, going into a dissertation about why you missed a lift is only to make YOU feel better, and all they hear is “Wah! Wah. Wah! Wah. Wah! Wah. Wah!" Picture that noise similar to what the teacher in Charlie Brown sounds like. When you discuss what went wrong in the lift with your coach/trainer so that you know how to gear your next training cycle, now that's a legitimate reason. When you tell everyone that asks how your meet went with a million reasons why you missed your lifts, now that makes your reasons no more than plain excuses. The moment you offer the reason before the information is requested, it transforms from a reason into an excuse. My list of reasons after this meet was larger than ever after any meet. I was also much quicker to tell everyone my excuses after this meet, than I ever have been before. This was a red flag. Something deeper was going on and I was making excuses for that something deeper.

I couldn’t have asked for a better training cycle before this meet. Brian had me beyond ready, which only increased my respect for his training skills, considering this meet was canceled just five days before the meet day and was rescheduled for five weeks later in March. That’s not a fun position for a trainer; especially one with a client like me, who really has nothing whatsoever to do with their own training cycle. I know nothing. I just go lift because it’s what I enjoy doing. The planning of cycles and such is up to him. So, it was up to him to keep me healthy, deload me, and re-peak me after I’d already been benching three times a week for at least six weeks. It could have been more. I don’t remember now.

The hardest thing for me to hear thus far in my short powerlifting career has been that tiny little phrase, “It’s mental." I’ve fought that with all of my heart and every cell of my being. I’ve found very valid physical reasons up to this point of why I missed lifts and worked very hard to fix them. They were valid reasons. I didn't go around explaining to everyone and anyone what the findings were after Brian and I watched my videos. Yet, this time I certainly did. To everyone. Then I sat down at the computer to write a fellow powerlifter an e-mail, listing every physical "reason" that I missed the lift. I then deleted the e-mail and cried like a baby. There was no getting around it this meet. I had that weight EASILY for two singles the week before I left. The next day, as I was sitting in the airport waiting to get on the plane to come home, I realized that as my national coach was pulling me up off the bench after my last lift the day before, I immediately had three fears flash through my mind:

  1. I didn’t want everyone to think it was mental.
  2. I felt like I let Brian down.
  3. I’m afraid I’m not going to make the Paralympic Team.

I told you all in my article “It’s All Relative” not to be too hard on others. I could find you a slew of people that will agree with me that any of the excuses listed at the beginning of this article would throw me and completely validate me on missing my lift. Not to mention, I can’t feel my legs. I’ve never been able to feel them or use them for anything. But, where does that get me?

What I DID NOT say in that article was ‘ease up on yourself.’ Every time I miss a lift, I don’t sit up and say “Well, I can’t use my legs.” So, what gives me the right to make any other excuse? All that matters is performance. When I freak out about a crappy lift three weeks before a meet, Brian looks at me and says “When you get to your meet, is anyone going to ask you what you did three weeks ago?” Obviously, the answer is always “no.” No one will. No one will even ask what you did last week; because it doesn’t matter. I was VERY quick to tell my team that I lifted the same weight as my last lift two times just the week before the meet. There was no response at the end of my statement, from any of them. That’s because it doesn’t matter. When it came down to it, I couldn’t cut it.

Here’s the problem: I can’t validate my way to a better bench or to a slot in the Paralympics. Even if people ‘understand’ and ‘care’ that I have issues that have plagued me since childhood about being in a wheelchair, physically and/or mentally, and validate every missed lift ever, where does that get me? They might listen and they might ‘feel for me’ but if I can’t get the job done, they aren’t going to say they’ll give me a slot anyway. In the end, it doesn’t matter. If I can’t perform because of it, then I need to fix it or get out of the game.

Brian and I talked about it after I’d been home about a week. He said, “I don’t know what you feel like. And I never pretended to know. But, if you want this, you need to forget about your chair and do it. Is your chair under you when you’re lifting? It’s the only time other than when you sleep or you’re getting stretched that you’re not in it. You need to forget about it and just go attack the bar.”

It’s all about performance. That’s not to say I shouldn’t figure out the reasons behind my misses. But I need to find them, fix them and move on. Saying I will or telling people that I know how doesn’t get the job done. I need to shut up and get the job done. The proof is in the action, not in the words.

There will inevitably be reasons behind every miss. They’ll be true and valid things. But don’t turn them into excuses. Excuses make us stuck; they keep us from accepting responsibility of ourselves. Are you going to leave yourself in the same situation by continuing to state the same ‘reason’ (which could be very valid) over and over? Or are you going to fix the situation so you can move on and obtain the goals that you have set in front of yourself? I’ve made it through 26 years of life, refusing to let people stand in my way of what I wanted. I absolutely refuse to let my own brain get in the way of my heart’s dreams. Just because the circumstances are new territory doesn’t give me a right to make an excuse to become weak. I’ve overcome overwhelming odds to get where I am. I have no intention of letting my brain get in my way now. I don’t know how I’m going to do it or how long it will take.  But it WILL happen. I will make my way to the Paralympic team.

**Meet details: Good lifts of 70 & 75 kg. (154 & 165 lbs.) Highest opener ever and highest good lift ever for a competition. 80 kg. (176 lbs.) was the failed attempt.**