"There's no right way, but there are sure as fuck a lot of wrong ways."
I spat out a version of this fine gem in a previous installment of this column. At the time, it was a humorous summarization of a point I was trying to make regarding my views on nutrition. This quick and charmingly profane piece of WTF wit, however, resonated within my brain. I consider the fact that it did to be a great sign that the bulbous mass of tissue between my ears just may be good for something other than producing luteinizing hormone and memorizing the lines of Jon Voight movies (Anaconda is one of the greatest films of our generation). I began to think about all of the "right" ways to do things. The fact of the matter is that training, nutrition, athletic performance, hypertrophy, and every aspect of what makes up our lives fits within an ever-so-confusing grey area.
Cars are simple (relatively). You put gas in them and they go. Forks are simple. You use them to stab and transport the contents of a delicious meal to your face. Training? Not that simple. If it was, every single dude on the planet would be 250+ pounds and ripped (yes, even men's bikini...ahem...I mean men's physique competitors who claim they just want to be streamlined and healthy. God, I hope that offends some of you).
The Holy Wars of Training
The internet has done some amazing things. Social media has connected the entire world, and immeasurable amounts of resources and information are available to anyone and everyone for free. Streaming pornography has increased the overall awesomeness of the planet by at least 12%. Another thing the internet is responsible for, however, is the keyboard warrior.
In this day and age, it seems to be many people's nature to become an outspoken tough guy with absolutely no merit or qualification to do so. I mean, hell, I don't have too many merits or qualifications, but at least I am more than open to the concept that my ideas and philosophies are ever-changing and might not work for everyone. In addition, I genuinely enjoy The Real Housewives of New Jersey. So, despite my overwhelmingly in-your-face manhood, I can't possibly to THAT tough. A lot of these guys online basically become complete fanatics and slaves to their own beliefs, misguided or otherwise. With the amount of research out there, ranging from scientific medical studies to substantiated bro-science, I remain utterly baffled (sweet word) that some people are so set in their ways that they dismiss everything else as garbage or bullshit.
In my first column, I went over my views on nutrition. Obviously, I do things slightly different than normal. I eat a lot of Poptarts and ice cream right before bed, I don't consume ridiculously huge amounts of protein, and I avoid slow digesting "good carbs" like they were full of slow digesting AIDS. But what I do gives me the results I want. I'm 6-foot-1 and currently at a very lean and ab-tacular (relatively) 261 pounds and growing. Do I recommend this type of diet or a version thereof to other people with other goals and in other walks of life? Abso-fucking-lutely. Does that mean I flat-out shit on people that eat oatmeal and brown rice and stray away from carbs at night? Abso-motherfucking-lutely not. After my first column, I noticed that one charming individual (whom I have no doubt is jacked out of his mind) exclaimed that the article was "garbage" because I dared to cite John Kiefer and not Alan Aragon. Well, fuck, dude. Kiefer's stuff was a huge influence on how I do things, and I happen to be doing pretty well. All I know about Alan Aragon is that his name reminds me of the guy from the Lord of the Rings movies, and if he's half as badass as the King of Whatever Earth that mightily slew a bunch of orcs and shit, then he's okay in my book.
People need to realize that there are hundreds of different philosophies out there, and there is no one single way to do things. There's a guy up in New England named Sean St. Onge who, in my opinion, is one of the smartest guys you've never heard of when it comes to strength training. Sean was one of the guys who trained me when I began my pro wrestling career in 2004, and I attribute most, if not all, of the good habits I developed in my work (wrestling jargon for my fake underpants fighting) to him. He's a docile good-natured family man these days, so when he reads this I'm almost sure to get a really feminine loving bromance text...at least I'd better. Anyways, in those days we had what we called "Tuesday Night Lifting." I would drive from my home in Massachusetts to to our wrestling school in Pawtucket, RI. Sean would drive the twenty minutes from his place a few towns over, and our buddy Jared would make the haul from Fall River. We would train the guys at the wrestling school before heading up 95 to Sean's local Golds Gym (somehow the SOB always got out of driving far). We would bench 225 pounds for five half reps, do cable crossovers, eat goldfish, and go to Denny's. Hey, everybody's gotta start somewhere.
Years rolled on and we each became more and more knowledgeable about training...until we both reached that elite "lack of status" where you're a genius to some and an asshole to others. My philosophies developed, as you've read and will continue to read. I'm a bodybuilder and I train as such, yet I utilize theories and practices from all walks of training. I love bands and chains and Prowlers® as much as I love my isolation work. In turn, Sean developed into an incredibly reputable strength coach in the New England area, with clients ranging from pro athletes to soccer moms. He's all about no BS cutting-edge strength training, and simply put, it fucking works.
Be Open
The point I'm trying to make is that I don't train the way Sean trains, but it fucking works. Sean doesn't train his clients the way I train, but it fucking works. I work on contraction and time-under-tension and Sean increases pure strength and endurance. If I was a closed off internet tough guy and I didn't know and respect Sean as I do, it would be easy for me to dismiss his style of training as BS based solely on the fact that the opposite is what works for me. Luckily, I'm an a-hole and not a d-bag, and I am willing to learn anything and everything that will enhance my training. Whenever Sean posts a blog or links to an article he's reading, the truth is that I'm probably the first one reading it. And guess what? I've picked up on more than a few gems that have benefited my training significantly. Don't get me wrong. I hate kettlebells, box jumps hurt my knees, and every time I do curls in the squat rack I want to send a photo to Sean with some sort of smartass homoerotic caption. I'm true to my beliefs god dammit (one of which is that curls in the squat rack are fine, stop bitching already), but DON'T DISMISS KNOWLEDGE.
"But Drew, you're a real man's man, and you're jacked as fuck, and incredibly attractive as well as witty and clever, but if every training style from doggcrapp to apesemen works, then how do I choose how to train?"
I'm sure that is, word-for-word, what you're thinking. The answer is simple, and it's one I've used many times before: FUCK IF I KNOW. Everyone is different. Everyone has different goals. KNOWLEDGE, however, can benefit everyone. Don't close yourself off. Learn from everyone and every style. Apply different philosophies and techniques and see what works. There is no right answer. And yes, there are sure as fuck a lot of wrong ones, BUT DON'T BLINDLY CONDEMN THEM.
Learn. Apply. Grow.
The common bond is INTENSITY. What defines Intensity? Intensity, by definition, is an awesome topic for my next column.
