I recently lifted in the 2019 USPA National Championships where I totaled 1769 in wraps at 198 via a 655 squat, 451 bench and 661 deadlift. I'll be lifting at an APF meet in Chicago this December to wrap up the year.
The past ~18 months of strength training has been a period of big change for me.
I dropped 2 weight classes. Went back to raw powerlifting (#Raw2.0). Revamped my home gym. Worked with a new coach (Casey Williams - he's great and I would recommend him to anyone) for a bit.
Dropping two weight classes was the biggest and most challenging change. I needed to, badly. My health improved dramatically with every few pounds that I lost. Blood pressure dropped into a very healthy range, cholesterol improved, sleep apnea resolved entirely and my snoring is basically gone. I feel better, move better and sleep better. My mood improved. My relationship with food did a 180 and I found a great place of balance (not immediately though, it wasn't easy to do). My self image improved big time. I got very lean, loved how I looked and I've managed to stay pretty lean. Sure, I'm not stepping on stage anytime soon, but 4-6 visible abs depending on the day is a spot I'm proud to be in. All of this was awesome changes!
But I lost a lot of strength. I didn't know if I would be strong again. There was a moment at the 2019 XPC Arnold meet where I felt very much like a washed up meathead and that bothered me.
It created a weird dichotomy. I love how I look and feel. I know my health is way better. I'm confident that I added years back to the end of my expected life and I certainly improved my quality of life.
But is it worth it? What a fucked up thing to ask myself. Doesn't matter, because that was the question I was asking. I wanted to be STRONG again. My 242 raw total was ranked as high as #13 all time, regardless of federation. I was constantly internally fighting a desire to be big and strong and at that level competitively again. Thankfully, logic (and vanity) prevailed. I don't want to be fat again, I don't want to sacrifice my health again. I started to learn to live with it.
The itch didn't go away.
This week was a big week for me. I can see something on the horizon, a potential to be at a high level of competition again. It was an emotional week for me in a way, I feel like I'm back in the game. But back in it in a better way. Lighter, healthier and not sacrificing myself anymore. Squatting 700 again and sneaking up on a 500 pound raw bench again showed me that I still have some potential to be ranked highly and compete. I'm not there just yet, but I can smell it and I can see the possibility.
Bench - 415 opener and 470 for a small PR. Saving some for the meet. I feel great about the bench! Some recovery and my arms healing up will be great. Looking forward to the platform.
Swiss Bar Tricep Extension - Part JM Press part skull crusher: 115 x 4 x 8
Rope Pressdowns - Very light x 5 x 10
Banded Hammer Curls - Green x 4 x 20
That was it. It's all I needed. Pulling back just a bit to heal and peak.
