“If you need a circus act to prove it’s ‘functional,’ it’s probably not.”
Observation:
Functional movements are still things that are never done in real life.
Expansion:
The word “functional” got hijacked somewhere along the way.
What started as training to improve athletic carryover turned into people balancing on BOSU balls with bands and chains attached to everything but logic.
Real functionality is simple — moving well under load and being able to repeat it tomorrow. If your “function” can’t translate to sport, life, or strength, it’s just entertainment.
Could you figure it out? Simple — look at what you do now, what you want to be able to keep doing, and what you’ll need to do to keep doing it as long as possible. That’s functional.
If you’re a powerlifter, “functional” means squatting, pressing, and pulling in a way that lets you perform at your best on meet day.
If you’re a firefighter, “functional” means carrying a load, working under fatigue, and moving fast when it counts.
If you’re a 50-year-old who wants to keep playing with your kids or training pain-free, then “functional” means whatever lets you keep doing that without breaking down.
Somewhere along the way, the industry decided that “functional” meant unstable surfaces and circus acts — and that’s where it all went off the rails. The goal of functional training was never to make exercises look complicated; it was to make people more capable. If your training doesn’t make you better at the things you actually do, it’s not functional — it’s just performative.
If the work you’re doing under the bar, with dumbbells, or on machines makes you stronger, more mobile, and more resilient, then it’s functional.
So, before you start strapping a resistance band to a stability ball while standing on one leg, ask yourself a simple question:
What is this training me to do?
If the answer doesn’t connect to sport, strength, or daily life — it’s not functional.
It’s just noise.
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