You may think this article is a little sarcastic and blunt. You’re right; it is. It might even be considered a rant.
Seems like a long time ago when people actually had to communicate with each other face-to-face. Remember when you had to utilize your personality, charisma and communication skills to relay information and converse? When communication actually gave other people the ability to find out what you are really like in real life? With the never-ending technological developments in new devices, our social existence appears to be becoming almost non-existent. Don’t get me wrong; social media is a great way to keep in touch with friends and family that live in different geographical areas. But to some people, social media seems to be their top priority in life!
Remember when you actually had to meet a girl and try to do your best to schmooze and charm her with your personality to ask her out on a date? How nervous and anxious you became wondering what to say and how you were going to get enough nerve to ask her out? Now days instead of trying to swoon her with your charisma and charm, you just need to post a profile (with a suggestive pic) on a dating app, view some pics, ascertain whether she looks “attractive enough” for you and swipe left or right. She doesn’t have to know you, you don’t have to know her, and you simply send a text to meet up for a drink and a romp! No questions asked and virtually no interaction required. I’m not sure how you’re really supposed to get to know anyone personally anymore. Everything seems based on your virtual existence fan base and how many “likes” you can get on your posts.
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It’s pretty damn easy to disguise yourself behind the anonymity of a keyboard and airwaves. You could be a 400-pound sweaty, ugly, hairy unemployed dropout posting pictures of somebody else claiming to be a successful, handsome financial genius OR a hot chick. Who would know?
I know a few people who make claims on social media that are far beyond the truth (I know, hard to believe). You can claim to be a 1000-pound bench presser when you've barely benched 700, but demand to be treated like a Rock Star at events where you bomb, meet after meet getting stapled to the bench. You never have to make a lift, just tell everyone you’re the “best in the business” and expect people to consider you amongst the elite lifters who’ve earned the right to be at the top.
Look at people walking around with their faces attached to their cell phones, ear buds in, walking along the sidewalk totally oblivious to their environment and surroundings. Ever wonder why the number of pedestrians being struck by vehicles is going up? What’s even more disturbing is the amount of people that text and drive. What could be so important that you put the safety of yourself, your passengers, and innocent pedestrians at risk for the sake of checking your FB status? Hmm...
We’re creating a nation of Zombies who are more concerned about getting “likes” on their posts than becoming successful at anything in the real world. Shouldn't you be concerned that you post half naked pictures of yourself in suggestive positions for the sake of a “like”? It’s pretty important to some people to have a legion of teenagers spankin’ and crankin to your Instagram and Facebook pics, but there are better ways to raise self-esteem.
Here’s a few examples of what appears to be popular on social media to increase your fan base to get some extra “likes” on your profile:
- Hold your phone on a 75-degree angle above your head so you can ensure your cleavage and mid-drift are fully exposed: more likes.
- The topless “back” pic taken in front of a mirror is a favorite: more likes.
- The rear end shot wearing spandex shorts with your back arched hard, a pair of high-heeled stilettos with your moose knuckle suffocated against the inside of your hot pants: more likes.
- Showing off your flexibility with your ankles wrapped around your head are great too: more likes.
- Wear clothing that leaves nothing to the imagination: more likes.
- Express your opinions with the inclusion of a lot of f-bombs: more likes.
- Make sure you use words that make you appear even less intelligent like: “Dem” for “Them”, “Dat” for “That”, “Dose” for “Those." I’ve always been intrigued with people who intentionally try to make themselves appear “not so smart”: more likes. Check out dem quads, dose traps, lol, lmfao, wtf?
- Posting a pic of provocative pics with a member of the same sex: more likes.
- Pictures with cute puppies: obviously more likes.
- Pictures of your most recent meal. If you didn't know, people could care less what you eat unless you’re doing an experiment like “see how much plutonium you can eat before you dissolve in front of everyone’s eyes”
- Explaining all of your personal problems in detail, talking about your relationship with your past boyfriend, girlfriend, ex-wife, ex-husband. WGAF (Who gives a f*ck)! That should be private information!
- Stay shredded while eating potato chips and french fries.
- Lose 30 pounds in 30 days.
- Gain 30 pounds of muscle in 30 days.
- Put 100 pounds on your bench in a week.
- Make a million dollars in less than three months.
- I really don’t care
- You’re a dick
- Seriously
- Get a Life
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Long gone are the days of Sunday family days, family dinner, family vacation, playing with your kids, or doing homework together. Just Google answers for your homework and plagiarize answers in between texting your buddies to see when the next party is.
Families don’t need to visit anymore, just check Facebook for family status updates.
Here’s the challenge. See how long you can survive without Tweeting, checking your Facebook status, posting on Instagram, or sending Snapchat. I’m betting it won’t be long before you go into withdrawals. Withdrawal symptoms include: sweating, shaking, and feeling light-headed, nausea, diarrhea and possible fainting. Let me know how long you can manage this challenge and text me at 1-800-I don’t give a crap.
