It has taken me three days to write this because I have my dignity. Well, I have some of it, anyway. Let's say this: I had more Tuesday than I did Wednesday and even less on Thursday. I regained some today, thank God.
I injured my back on Tuesday for the 10th time and even though it wasn't as bad as the 9th time almost 3 years ago, it was (and is) pretty bad. I was going to lie and say that I was pulling 545 from the floor for reps of 20 but the reality is that I was at the post office, only barely bending over to look at what size empty box I needed to send a tub of protein in the mail. It popped - like it always had before - and I almost went to the floor. Instantly, I knew I was in serious shit. Figuratively? No, literally.
I put this information out to help you. I would really hope that it wouldn't be used against me to make jokes or belittle me, but that is something I am willing to risk, I suppose. Suffice to say, it has been a tough 3 days.
With back injuries (at least mine), I do better when I am warm and better as the day goes on. I have more mobility, less pain and generally just feel better. When I get up in the morning, this is the worst part of my day due to being so stiff from sleeping all night and not moving much that it is all I can do to get out of bed and even to walk. I actually have been sleeping very well the last 3 days because this injury hasn't been bothering me once I sit or lie down. Sitting in my chair right now I don't even notice that I am injured. The mornings are terrible and this might be too much information, but I want to drive the point home about how bad these injuries can be and what I deal with.
Like most anyone else in this world (any guy, anyway), I wake up usually because I have to piss and/or shit. In my younger years there would be much more time between waking up and having to get to the restroom but the older you get, the less time there is between A and B. The smell of coffee alone is damn near enough to make me shit my pants before I can get to the damn bathroom. Laugh if you want, but anyone my age reading this isn't laughing but nodding in agreement.
I am too stiff in the morning when I wake up to sit down. You see where this is going? Plus, my last really bad injury 3 years ago found me stuck on the toilet having a back spasm if I tried to stand up. This went on for over 3 hours before 3 percocets were able to loosen my back up enough to get off the toilet. I am sure you can understand my anxiety around the idea of sitting down on the toilet and the possibility of the pain involved in not being able to get up for over 3 hours.
As you can see, my options were limited. I had to shit but wasn't about to sit down. Without breaking down the debate that was waged in my head over 2 or 3 main options to my dilemma, I chose the option that was less painful and less of a gamble. I shit while standing in the shower. I hope you can fathom what it just took to admit that publicly. I hope you can try to understand what went on the next 5 to 10 minutes after I did this without my explaining it. I am a grown ass man and for 10 minutes or so, I had the feeling of being that 90-year-old man being taken care of in a nursing home and what it must feel like. I had a slight advantage because no one was home so no one was cleaning up after me... or was it really an "advantage"? - I can't be sure.
The day went on and I was able to get ibuprofen and a pain killer every 6 hours so my mobility increased and was able to use the restroom like a normal person (dignity intact) later in the day. However, the following morning was a repeat of the morning before. Lucky me.
Today I have finally progressed at least to being able to awaken without having to ... how should I say delicately ... SHIT IN THE SHOWER STANDING UP. I admit to being quite relieved and unusually happy as I am sure you can imagine.
I do not have any idea why I injured myself this time. My back has been in incredible condition for quite a while now and was as strong as it has ever been. I had been training legs harder for about a year, though not going overly heavy, and doing things like bent over rowing for almost two years. NOTHING - not even a tweak - have I noticed in the gym or out of the gym in the last months or weeks or anything that I can put my finger on. I have been stretching religiously and going to the chiro religiously. Now, I might go back to the gym and it might be great as early as next week - that is what happened last time - but it is too early to tell. What I do know is there is now no period of time that will pass for me to feel that I am "safe" from back issues, anymore. I am doomed to this, in all likelihood. I will just have to continue to work around it as best I can and I would like to think that my proactive stance of stretching and chiro work has stretched my injuries to every 3 years instead of every year or even less if I wasn't taking care of my back. However, this is my best guess.
I can tell you that I won't change anything I am doing in the gym simply because I am absolutely confident that nothing I am doing in the gym is the cause. I just think that after 32 years of pounding, my back is not in great shape and I will have to battle with this probably for the rest of my life. I am ok with this. I mean, the alternative is sitting on my ass eating cheetos and drinking beer like most of the rest of the world. I just can't do that. I'll be back in there on Monday - guaranteed.
- Header image via www.google.com -