Every single year I write about this (but with a slightly different spin) because it absolutely needs to be said and needs to be heard. For some, this will be a reminder, and for others, it will be something else I write that pisses them off. The three F words that you should be using during the holidays are family, friends and food.
At this time of the year, spending time with family and friends is how many of us build memories. Some of us may not even see much of our extended families the rest of the year. The last thing that anyone should be worrying about or bitching and complaining about is why the gym has restricted hours or that you may not get in your third glute session of the week. All of us would like to get through the holidays without completely turning into fat asses, but I think we can all agree that missing a couple workouts to build memories that can last a lifetime won't diminish the end product when it comes to glute development. Your mind might have you convinced otherwise, but your mind, in this case, is being stupid and selfish. You know, something that usually goes hand in hand with bodybuilding.
If you show up to someone’s house for a dinner function with your own food in Tupperware, you deserve to be punched in your dick/vagina. If you have an early spring show, you need to get your fat ass dieted down long before the holidays so that you can at least spare a couple meals with family and friends. Not doing this is essentially trading in your family and friends for your own selfish, narcissistic wants. If you try to argue that eating shouldn’t be something linked to social activities, you're not only sounding narcissistic like you were when you brought the Tupperware, but now you're an argumentative douche bag who is proving your narcissism by fighting for it and attempting to justify it. Yeah, maybe if you explain your level of awesomeness to us and how you are soooo different from the rest of us, we will understand. In reality, your biggest body part isn’t your arms or chest but your shitty ego.
Don’t be “that person” who starts talking about nutrition at the holiday meal. We get that you're well versed in GMOs and that the plastic container the green bean casserole is in is leaking toxins after being reheated in the microwave. If you're a Crossfitting, Paleo freak, we get that carbs will cause diabetes and that we'll all likely die a premature death from having a slice of pecan pie (pronounced pee CAN, contrary to my wife’s insistence otherwise). We don’t believe you, but we hear you.
First, damn near everyone at the table eats fast food and doesn’t believe it will kill them, so they won't buy into your GMO food Nazi lecture. They may patronize you by listening, but in their heads, they're looking at you thinking, “I know it’s your birthday, God, but please kill this person.” OK, maybe that would just be me thinking that.
If you are that OCD and feel that you just can't fathom the idea of taking in extra calories during the holidays, you can always do extra cardio the following day. Novel, normal approach, I know. Indulge a bit and, by that, I mean eat what you want, but don’t shovel it in until you are miserable. Fat people do that. The holidays turn nasty for people when every day becomes a pig fest. If you don't have any control, then that isn’t a “holiday” issue. It's a you issue. In fact, that might be a good resolution for you—figuring out your eating issues and why you can’t enjoy a meal with family and friends without it turning into a week-long, face-shoving exercise of which you have little control (or so it appears).
The holidays aren’t meant to be a time for calorie counting and trying to prove how unique and special you are to everyone else. Instead, it should be a time to just hang with family and friends, reflect on the year and make plans for the following year. It's a time to slow down and eat food that you might not otherwise eat during the year and not feel guilty about it. You have the other 51 weeks of 2015 to freak about your glutes and post on Facebook about how special you are. Just sayin’.
