I am so done with this that I am basically trudging through the week just waiting for it to be over. The workouts have been pretty good and I am very happy with my condition and how I look but I am just psychologically over the dieting, feeling run down, flat, loose skin, stagnant strength, etc..
Yesterday after missing a meal (which I never do) I started training legs about 3 hours after my last meal and by the time I got done with warmups on squats I was sweating profusely and going hypo. Yay me. Of course, I figured I would just buy a carb drink at the gym and that would get me through but the dumbass that orders and stocks the drinks at the gym has a hard on for pre-workouts that have no carbs and no carb "Oh Yeah" drinks. Though some protein likely would have brought me out of the hypo realm I have been doing this long enough that I figured I would just slow down a little bit between sets and my body would adjust and it did. Now, my strength was down quite a bit and stamina was low but ... I still killed it and had a pretty good session.
I have to get through shoulders and arms tomorrow which shouldn't be too bad but I am rarely hungry while dieting but I have been ravenous the last couple of days and was at the end of last week, as well. This, alone, says I am just over this shit. I want to push some weight, fill out a little bit and just generally feel better. The plan switches this weekend where I start adding back calories, slowly, each week and I am looking forward to getting some carbs back into my diet for next week.
I have no long term goal right now as I make this change. I am basically going to go week by week and just work hard to fill out and improve my condition but leave my body fat where it is right now. I need to get fuller and if everything goes right I should be able to film the training footage for the TRTbodybuilding: Longevity2 DVD sometime in June - the earlier the better.
As I sit here right now I feel like a pencil and I am starving. If I was doing a show then I would be ok with it but I am not competing so ... I am not ok with it. lol In short, there comes a time where as disciplined and focused as we can be, enough is enough and I am at that point right now.
Plus, I am excited about how much I can change my look in the next couple of months simply by filling out and remaining as lean as I am now.
